Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
