have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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