Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
