I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
