im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
