So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We got so high we made milksteak
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
