This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
