My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
