I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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