I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
