i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize