Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
