i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
