Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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