I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
