OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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