girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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