sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
This girl is more easily done than said...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
