i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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