I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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