Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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