Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
