I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize