And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
