it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
