Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
