My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
