when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
