I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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