So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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