and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Boobs speak an international language.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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