I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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