my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
