Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
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