let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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