I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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