is your mom at the bar?
im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
