Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
