I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
