I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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