i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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