Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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