Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
