Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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