Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
