I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
