Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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