Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
