Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
