So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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