When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
