Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
