My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
