I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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