he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
