I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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