Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
