dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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