I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
