guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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