Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
