i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
