Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
