Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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