girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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