My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I could fuck to npr.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
