Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
