Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
