You can't special order awesome
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
